Eileen McDargh on Show #190 : Building Resilience 

Eileen McDargh is a consultant, professional speaker, master facilitator, and award-winning author.

She has a passion for helping individuals and organisations transform their businesses and their lives through meaningful conversations and connections.

With extensive experience in consulting for major national and international organisations, including US Armed Forces, healthcare associations, and religious organisations, Eileen delivers programmes that provide rich and interactive content.

In 2020, she was ranked as one of the World’s Top 30 Communication Professionals by Global Gurus International, and her latest book, Burnout to Breakthrough: Building Resilience to Refuel, Recharge, and Reclaim What Matters is receiving an excellent response.

In today’s episode, Eileen joins me to share the early events in her life that affected her confidence and how an experience with a particular teacher in school helped her to see her communication talent.

She discusses how experiencing burnout in her job made her decide to make drastic changes, and what made her recognise that her new career was her true purpose.

Eileen shares tips for anyone considering a career in public speaking and discusses how she works with her clients during the pandemic. She also shares organisation tips, the things she does to combat tough days, and the positive things that help her to live more.

“No one exists on this planet without a reason.”

Eileen McDargh

This week on The Power to Live More Podcast:

  • An experience in school that helped Eileen to discover a talent for communication
  • How burnout in a job helped Eileen find her mission and passion
  • What made Eileen have faith to make the changes that would lead her in a new direction
  • The things that made Eileen realise her new business was her real purpose
  • An experience at an event that helped Eileen see the importance of her work
  • Tips to get started in public speaking
  • How Eileen works with her clients, before the pandemic and now
  • How Eileen keeps herself organised to get everything done
  • Why using journals and other tools helps Eileen keep track of her accomplishments
  • A top tip to get yourself organised 
  • How to deal with those days when things go wrong
  • The things that help Eileen to have genuinely wonderful days

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Eileen McDargh:

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Show notes provided (brilliantly, my words not theirs!) by Lidwell Writing Services, LLC

Read Full Transcript

Today, I'm interviewing Eileen Dodd, welcome, I didn't thank you for joining me. My pleasure, my pleasure. So start by telling us who you are what you do, and crucially, when you do it. Well, I'm Eileen Mack dark.

00:16

I believe I believe that I am on this earth, for the purpose of contributing to both individuals and organizations, to help them find ways to transform the life of business and the business of their life.

00:30

How I do that is by frankly, finding better ways to create conversations that matter and connections that count. So what I do is I am a consultant, I am a professional speaker, a master facilitator, and an author.

00:46

And where are you based? I'm based in Southern California. Are you based from home? purely because of the pandemic? Or do you work from home normally?

00:58

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai Well, prior to the pandemic, in fact, I just got a thing from American Airlines telling me what I needed to do so that my, because I can't fly.

01:06

Yeah, normally we're in we're on a plane. So this is a brand new world, actually, since the pandemic because I accept to work in in the house in my office rather to write to do articles and and these kinds of things I'm normally gone. So this is this is kind of an interesting new world that we're in.

01:27

So tell us how you got to do what you what you do, you have to say you're sort of what you do. Sounds really polished. And you clearly are very clear about your mission and your purpose. And I don't imagine that was always the case.

01:44

How did that all come about?

01:46

That's some

01:48

Well, let me let me just say that as growing up, I have a if you and I could see each other face to face, we could give each other hugs, we'd shake hands, and you would discover that I am. I am relatively small. In fact, I'm the runt of the litter. I like to say I come by genetically because half of I have a twin brother, so half of me as a professor at Boston College.

02:13

And what's interesting, though, in all my growing up, we we never lived in a place where there were a lot of people. So I didn't have I didn't have that many peers as friends. And when we went to school,

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai 02:28

I was always the smallest one. I was the one that wore the orthopedic shoes. I was the one with the hand me down dresses. in junior high school, I was the one that had to wear the braces and the bottle thick glasses. So my level of comfort and self esteem was not was not very high. And when I got to high school, we moved. We moved from Jacksonville, Florida to Fort Lauderdale, and started my freshman year at high school.

03:02

I didn't thank God for uniforms. uniforms are the great equalizer. I love it because nobody knew how much money you had if you had to wear a uniform. On the dress up days. I despised it, because it was quite obvious. But I had a teacher, sophomore year, Joe, who started the school term, said I want you to stay after school. Now this was a parochial school Catholic school. And you never said no to a nun. And I was terrified. I thought, oh my god, what have I done wrong? And she said, I want you after school. We're going to start a debate team could no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not on the debate team. Well, bottom line is she saw something in me, Joe that I didn't see. Not only was I on the debate team, I became quite a very good debater. And then we would compete in extemporaneous competitions in the US oral interpretation. And it was the ability to discover that I had a voice that I think actually pushed me into what I do. Now. I did not know this would be a profession. Because they've always been in the field of communication words mean everything to me. As a child, the books were my companions. And then once I discovered that I had a voice that I knew how to be articulate. It kind of pushed me in this direction. What I taught school, which is a wonderful way to use your voice, I taught school at a rural community at the Florida Georgia border, and taught English

04:40

to students many of whom were substandard when it came to English, the English language. They may or may not have had books in their house. So books became my way to help them see a world that was beyond the small community where they lived.

04:59

And when I'm

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai 05:00

moved to California. When I moved to California, I would do corporate communications, I worked for a

05:07

publicly traded company, helping them create their public relations out outputs. And then with a PR firm and got to a place where if I ever wrote another press release, I was going to throw up. Yes. And

05:23

and now that was my first encounter with burnout.

05:27

And so I left. And I just, I had just gotten married, I married an amazing man and adopted two, three kids.

05:37

And but between the two of us, we had probably next to nothing. And

05:42

when I told bill within the first month of our marriage that I just, I have to quit. And he said, What are you going to do? I said, I don't know. But it can't be this, I cannot do this. And within a short order, after resigning, I had a colleague who called and wanted to know what I create a program for returning adults, one of the local colleges. I said, Sure, why not. And I know how much I love to teach. Well, I created that one class, I created another one called communication at the home of the hearth, I created another program called the art of persuasion. And the steel service center Institute out of Cleveland, Ohio, got a copy of the college course catalog, and asked me if I would come and speak to their executives, they gave my name to the copper and brass Institute, who must have given it to the I don't know, the, the glass manufacturers of America or something like that. And all of a sudden, I realized that being able to speak and be able to speak in an organizational setting was actually a business. And that's really how everything started. Wow. So that

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai that thing about giving up your job when you just couldn't carry on with it. And you taught me sort of briefly mentioned the concept of burnout. It was like, it sounds like it was really brave thing to do. Although I suspect at the time, it perhaps didn't feel brave, it just probably felt a bit inevitable. And and I don't know how else you describe it. But looking back now, can you? Can you remember how you felt? Can you? Can you? Did you feel confident to do that? Or was it just you had no choice?

07:26

Let me say that this wonderful man that we've been married 40 years now, which is incredible, because I'm only 21. I don't know how it happened. Of course.

07:39

This is my second marriage. In when I became divorced in my first marriage. I literally moved across country from Florida to California. I had no job. I did have a sister God love her who opened up her one bedroom apartment with a husband, German shepherd and a cat and said, You can come and stay with us. And there's such a, there's something called trust and faith. And when your heart says this is the right decision, I have no clue how this is going to turn out. But I trust that I am doing the right thing. And I'll figure this out. I just need to have faith.

08:28

And really, that's that's exactly what happened. When I when I decided to leave the job with the PR firm. I just knew in my heart, it was not what I was meant to do. It felt it felt constrained. I thought if I like I said, if I wrote another press release, I was going to throw up because I also didn't care, Joe, it didn't matter to me whether some CEO got his face on the cover of Time Magazine, or an article in the Wall Street Journal. I didn't care what mattered to me, or where I saw they were missing the boat entirely wasn't relationships with the press. There were relationships internally, the way the employees were treated, the whole culture of that this one organization was so dysfunctional to me. I thought, you know, that's, that's where the relationships need to start. And so because I did care, I felt compelled to leave. So my feeling was one of incredible release and relief, and also great curiosity. And by curiosity, it was to say,

09:36

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai I wonder what I'll discover now. Yeah, yeah.

09:41

That's a help ended. Obviously, you talked about having, you know, some some opportunities arise and the path sort of became clearer. How did that really solidify into being so clear about your purpose, as you described at the beginning?

09:57

And I think it was

10:00

Over time and what it was Joe, was the response of the people who were, who were my clients who were in my audience, what I would hear them say to me was, you have no idea what a difference is make. In fact, there is one, there's this will always stay in my mind, I was speaking at the convention center in New Orleans. And one of the learning points that I had, was that, that everyone is there, on purpose that no one exists on this planet without a reason. And I gave a statistic that was given to me by Actually, he was from the UK, a biologist from the UK, who had a show on the Public Broadcasting Network here. And he said he gave the odds of what are the odds of winning the New Jersey lottery twice? And it was some incredible odds. And then he said, you know, what are the odds of you being born? I

11:02

don't know, john, what are the odds, and it was something like 220,000,000,000,002 month, there were greater odds that you could win the New Jersey lottery twice, then you would be born. And that always stuck with me, his name was john Pauling. And so I shared that with this audience, I said, You are not here by mistake. Well, at the end of this program, this woman came up and she had a piece of paper, it was folded, and she said, I want you to put this in your briefcase. And you are not to read it and to get on the plane to go home.

11:37

When I sat on that plane, Joe, I opened the paper that she gave me. And what she wrote

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai was that she had been considering suicide.

11:47

And when she heard me speak, suicide was no longer her option. She said, You literally saved my life.

11:59

When you have feedback, and that was very dramatic. I can't say that I've saved anybody else's life. But when I see people smile, and sick, got it. I've got this, I can try. I get I get letters.

12:14

I write by the way, Joe, what I need to learn. I don't write for other people I write first for myself, Oh, I'm curious about this, I need to understand this. And when people you know, call me or or post your review someplace and say what they got out of it, I realized that my purpose is contribution.

12:33

Yeah. And it is how, how do I make a contribution? So you and I were talking earlier, before we started the podcast, where I have a request to do something for a human resource group in Africa, which is not possible.

12:51

And that they had relat, very, very small amount of money to pay me. And I said, don't matter, keep the money. And it's been an interesting thing, trying to create the video for them. But the reason I'm doing it is it feels my heart.

13:10

It's a contribution. Yeah.

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai 13:14

And so

13:16

you started speaking and and sort of, you've mentioned clients and so on. Often people want to be speakers, they want to

13:26

sort of provide that contribution. They want to help, but the difficulty they have is how they sort of package it, how they turn it into money, if you like, what was the sort of journey that you went on with that?

13:38

Well, first off, let me say that I think now is absolutely the wrong time to go after

13:45

the meetings industry is very flat.

13:50

In in, here's,

13:53

I have a couple things. One, I want to push back, I think, when people say I want to be a public speaker, because we look like we make it look like it's so easy, and that we're having fun on the platform. People say, Oh, I want to do that. So my first question is What gives you the right to speak? You have to earn that right? Either by experience and or education. You can't just stand up and go blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Secondly, what is it? What is it that you bring and can serve in the marketplace? So unless there's real gate, great clarity of that.

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai 14:31

So it's what do what do you know, what can you do? And what is your community whatever that looks like, but they need then the second thing is, you really I think, need to, to understand and to start small. There is a Toastmasters International, which which around the globe gives individuals an opportunity to stand up and do exactly that. To to speak, how do you reflect

15:00

Your message,

15:02

if you do it just for the money I I spoke, oh my goodness, so many places for free because of the experience. In fact, what I did for the, for the colleges, there's no money and speaking for colleges, particularly when it is continuing education for adults, you, you write the course description, you come up with a marketing title, the college promotes it, and you see if anybody even wants to attend, which is not, by the way, a bad place to start out.

15:33

Because you're not doing all the marketing, the college is doing the marketing. And you see if does this ring a bell with anybody. So I think there are ways that you that you start small, except if you're one of these amazing people who have got this, this huge story, there are people who speak because their life's experience has been so dramatic weather, it's the the hiker who cut off his legs so that he could get out of a

16:02

I can't forget where it was rock, Colorado, Utah someplace, you know, he can talk about that, or, you know, I survived the attack of the grizzly bear. I was the sole survivor on them. We're not talking about that stuff. I'm talking about just ordinary people.

16:18

And there are people who, because of the lives experience have made, it can make an incredible difference. I have a wonderful friend who was in a motorcycle accident, burned

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai over 90% of his body, he lost his he lost his fingers. He lost his face.

16:40

When you see Mitch, you know that it's it's it doesn't look anything like what he used to. But he survived that. And then piloting his own plane was in a crash and then became paralyzed. So from from the waist down, you know, he's in a wheelchair, it's a double whammy. And he's taken that experience. And basically he says it's not what happens to you. It's what you do with what happens to you, an incredible, powerful speaker who because of those experiences, has a place on the platform? Goodness knows I do not want to go through what w Mitchell has gone through to do that. No, absolutely.

17:23

So how do you work with your clients? Sort of, I guess it's probably we should all be saying sort of BC. But before covid, and

17:37

AC

17:41

sounds like before Christ in your battle Domini or something. What does he stand for? I thought, Oh, yeah, exactly. It's a different word. But it doesn't work that way. But yeah, so you know, when you talked briefly about not being able to sort of fly over to Africa.

17:57

When we were talking before we came on about how much of you do is now through things like zoom and other online technology?

18:05

Or does it look like when you're working with your clients in terms of, you know, your sort of day to day work?

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai 18:13

And, well, everyone is in a very different place. Now, BC before COVID clients would hire me to do a couple of things. One is that they were having a major mate meeting, it was an annual conference, it was

18:32

it could have been a training program. Just before like in 2019. I'm speaking to 5000 pharmacist and the topic and because I've studied so much on resilience, it was

18:47

overcoming burnout with resilience. And, and so that's one of the things that actually prompted me to write my newest book is that every time I was asked to speak about resilience, it always seemed to be in the context of burnout. I was with

19:05

hospital systems, they wanted when they want to talk about resilience and burnout. And so, they are there are meetings that can be annual meetings like this one for the pharmacist, it can be localized, it can be a hospital setting, it can be bringing together employees. So it is using the speaking platform, either in larger meetings or within an organizational setting. The other thing that that I am called upon to do, which I love to do, but I do very judiciously because it is it's quite labor intensive, is to take senior teams away executive teams away and to help them in a two two and a half day format.

19:50

solve some major issues. And the way I do this is that whoever owns that meeting, you know the the final person

20:00

Say Why are you bringing people together? And what do you want as an outcome? And then I interview all the players, which is very time consuming with the same set of questions. And then when we gather, I always believe that you begin with the human first before you ever start talking about the issues. So it creates a forum for them to see each

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai other is more than what their name is on a curriculum vitae, or on a title. And so we have some actually have some fun with that. But we also talked about how do we communicate with each other? Why is it that john drives me crazy over here, and I can do well with Sam. Because why talk about issues? First, unless I can understand how can we communicate more clearly. And in the conversations that I have with all of them, I create issue papers and the third party issue papers. And what I'm looking for, are the themes that have come up in these interviews with the people. And so then the issue, papers are presented back to them with this third party. So Susan over here wants to really talk about the fact that there's noodle served at every lunch, and nobody else talks about noodle served at every lunch, we're not going to talk about noodles, that comes off the table. So I actually make the first cut at what I see are the are the concerns.

21:23

And I've had great, great response and success with that. Because the and also because the person who brings me in, we're very clear, is that individual needs to have number one trust in me. But number two needs to take my counsel. And if you don't want to listen to me, then we can't do business together. Because I will find out some things that you need to know what people are saying about you, and I will coach you on how to respond. If you're willing to do that, then we can move forward. And so that's, that's a it's a wonderful thing. The last thing I did actually was to take the global of folks involved in Regulatory Affairs global Regulatory Affairs, and we went to India, brought them all into India.

22:15

And they came from, from, obviously, from countries around the world. And it was just wonderful. And I always believed that there are ways in which I can use teaching and metaphor that people go, Oh, now I get what this means to me. So. So those are the two big ways in which people use me plus, a third way would be to hire me for individual coaching. And it can come in two ways. One is as a speech coach, because how are you going to stand up in front of your team and speak, the other one is to actually coach them on their leadership style. And for that I'm, I become like a little

22:57

this one guy, he said, You're my nudge. So I just observe this person in meetings, I observe them in conversations, and then I give them feedback on what I observed. And what might be more effective ways to,

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai 23:12

to engage with individuals or that team. Yes, yeah. So let's talk a bit about how you get done, what you need to get done, how you sort of organize yourself, if it strikes me, that just thinking about my inexperience at the moment in terms of

23:28

sort of being

23:30

in this sort of lockdown scenario. And having so many online meetings alongside the coaching that I do, I'm finding it quite hard to, to do all the sort of administrative project outside of the meeting other people work because there seems to be a lot less time at the moment. And and when you're when you're a speaker, and when you work in organizations, it fluctuates quite a lot, doesn't it you can have a week where you're sort of completely tied up all week and really can't get to anything else. And then a week where perhaps you've got less going on and then that does give you that time, how to get done all those things that aren't the sort of face to face client stuff that you have to do if you like, how'd you get the

24:11

important stuff done.

24:13

All right. Well,

24:15

I, I am old school in that, I believe in paper.

24:21

And I have I have a paper day timer, if you will. It's three months at a time. So it's so I have enough for every first quarter. And at the start of every month, I create what is it that I

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai need that needs to be done. That is that is essential. So out. So let's say I have a

24:43

let's say I'm going to do two virtual trainings. So I will write that down in that month. And what I need to do under that I write I write a weekly blog. So that goes in there.

24:55

I also who are the people that I need to circle back and touch base with so

25:00

So I, at the start of each month, I give myself basically a to do list. Now one of the things I love, I love highlighters. And every time I complete something like highlight it, I get rid of it, and it gives you such joy to get rid of it. And I have been known to put something down that I've already done just for the pleasure of highlighting it.

25:22

Yes, it's done. It's done, it's done. Now, I will say something, though, about, this is a practice I've always had. So I have both the paper calendar, as well as I have was here on the, you know, on the computer.

25:39

But I divide every month, I have what I think of as intellectual, emotional, material,

25:49

physical, and sometimes spiritual, in those five direct dimensions. So the intellectual has to do with the with the actual work that I need to do, whether it's the article, the blog,

26:01

the interviews, the speech, whatever, in that month.

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai 26:06

Physical, I have some physics and I set these goals, by the way, I set these goals at the start of each year, which is a perfect time right now, since this is going to be running, you know, as we start 2021. So I have I know that I my goal, my intellectual, my intellectual goal is, you know, X amount of articles that are written, at least three clients contacted, you know, whatever that would be. It's also, how many books do I want to have read. So I set a goal of a minimum of three books a month, and under physical, I want to have at least 25 days of exercise, I want 64 ounces of water a day. And so I create those goals. And at the end of every month, I have another journal that I write in, and I go and look at what it what did I do in this month, and I capture that in this singular journal. What's amazing, Joe, when you do this, you realize number one, you realize how incredible busy you have been, you realize what you have accomplished. And since we're talking about, you know, being in a world that's different, one of the things I started actually before COVID-19. Because I think it is it is a it's a way to to continue to build the resiliency muscle is I've challenged myself every month, I have to do at least one thing I have never done before. least one thing, it's I read about it.

27:40

Back when I took a retreat three years ago, I just scoped take myself away to be silent. And it's a practice that started in the Middle Ages, which apparently now is only continued in some of the Bhaskar regions of Spain, in which on your birth day. So like I'm born the fifth of September. So on the fifth of every month, you do something you've never done before. But well, that's very interesting. Now, I don't want to be held to the day because I never know what that day is going to bring. So I just say within the month, I have to do at least something I've never done before. And it's What it does, Joe, is it makes you stretch. Some of those things that I've done, I've done because it scares the bejesus out of me. And once I've done it, I go well, don't have to do that one again.

28:30

Yeah, and other things are just to have that experience to sign up and back when you could do it to take a class, I've never had a plot s class, I found a what we have here called a Groupon coupon, which means you can get it for cheaper. So I signed up to take a polities class, you know, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna do that. I've never done that before. I have, I have become a certified agent for the white Institute, which means that I have a process that I can use to help to help clients discover what is their why was their why their how their what so that they can become very clear on the brand of them and what they

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai say, I've never done that before. I I've taped two hours of a virtual training program for the community college. As I mentioned to you earlier, I just taped a videotape for Africa. That's something I've never done before. And with this technology, it does scare me.

29:33

It's so at the end of the month, I will be able to say these are the books I read. I keep track of the books that I read, and also on this exercise thing. Every day that I exercise. On my paper calendar. I give myself a little sticker, like kids have on sticker books. And at the end of the month, they say well how many days Should I exercise and I've realized that as we are

30:00

locked down COVID, whatever it's going to look like by the time we're in 2021, the exercise is essential is absolutely essential, particularly in the potential of burnout. Because getting our physical body in control is the first place that we actually have control. I can't control this pandemic. But what I can control is first and foremost, my physical body. So today, Joe, because we were going to go on early, I couldn't run as much as I normally do. But I got up I got up at 430 this morning. So that by 530, quarter of six, I could be out running. Yeah. And, and then come back and do my

30:44

do my

30:45

I could go back and do a plank. Yeah, so I'm practicing on the plank. That's the fastest thing that I could do. So So then I can monitor at the end of the of the month. How did you do it?

31:00

Yeah, yeah. So that's how I, that's how I kind of manage? Yes, yeah, it sounds it sounds really structured. And, as you say, visual and quite sort of simple and straightforward, but really, really effective.

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai 31:16

Let me give you one other one other tip, as far as organization is concerned, this goes back years and years ago, she since passed away, but she had a wonderful book called file don't pile.

31:28

And you know, most of time we had, you have the hanging folders in there. And we still need paper, I don't care what you say about technology, the day that you can't turn on your computer, and you can't find what you need. We're all going to slit our risk. So you still need paper. Yeah, so the filing system was brilliant, instead of having to think okay, what did I file this under? Did I call it Joe? Did I did I call it the name of the show? What the heck did I do? The filing system on the hanging folders is numerical. So right now I have, I don't know, I think I have 80. So numbers one to 80. And then I have a sheet, I have a physical sheet that is that is in one file cabinet. But I also obviously also have it

32:13

on my computer, but I have the physical sheet. And so when you go to File something, you write it down on the physical sheet. And it's by number so you don't remember what it is. And on your computer if you do it on your computer. So I can open up my it says file personal file. And I'll type in the word, Joe. And it will give me everything. It'll give me everything that is listed under the name Joe. I don't have to remember. I don't have to remember

32:46

was it This was so I can give as many words as I want. And I can find it on the on the paper file. I can I erase it. So I'm not recreating. I'm not recreating

33:01

names as much as I'm using this numerical system. And it's brilliant. Mm.

33:07

As you say, it's funny when you said at the beginning all you know i'm i'm sort of old

#190 Eileen McDargh Interview

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai school, I think all bar about three of my guests and 180 odd shows all say pen and paper works best.

33:21

There's There is something about about seeing it touching it. I am a great believer, obviously because I'm a writer,

33:31

that you have to ink it to think it not my quote that comes from a wonderful colleague, Sam horn, but it's brilliant. So writing things down, keeping a gratitude journal, oh my goodness, when you either begin or end the day with what you're grateful for. It's another way of getting out of what basically is crisis fatigue. With this has been going on for so long that we're exhausted and we feel stuck. We're not stuck if in fact, we can take some positive actions and one of them to me, is this gratitude journal? Mm hmm. Yes. So last couple of questions. Firstly, what about those days where it goes horribly wrong? How do you do?

34:19

Well, I have to say,

34:22

I have to say there's a lot going on in the us right now that I admitted to my husband that my language has devolved.

34:31

I hear myself screaming at the television or at my computer saying things I normally would never ever say.

34:42

And so when things go horribly wrong.

#190 Eileen McDargh Interview

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai 34:48

I do the Scarlett O'Hara. Scarlett O'Hara was a character out of Gone with the Wind.

34:55

And she one of the things she would say is well, I'll worry about it tomorrow.

35:00

I'll worry about it tomorrow. And there comes a point in which you just say, You know what? I've had enough,

35:08

tomorrow. And once I say tomorrow, then I can turn off the computer, I walk out of the room, I can go take a walk, wonderful walking outside, looking at the birds listening to the birds, and say, you know, tomorrow's another day, I've done as best as I can do that, you know, the problem is, is at night sometimes to get your brain to stop talking to you. Because it goes Batman rammer. So what I've been working on, and it actually does seem to work is to breathe in to the count of seven, very slowly hold it to the count of seven.

35:47

And then breathe out to the count of seven. And it and I just kind of imagined myself floating. And it allows me to go back to sleep.

35:59

Otherwise, my brain just doesn't shut up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

36:05

Just give me a call. He got a call today was saying that she started doing the thing. You said the Wim Hof

#190 Eileen McDargh Interview

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai 36:12

concept of taking cold showers and we asked her how long she'd stayed in the shower. She said she got to 120, Mississippi.

36:21

So we were quite impressed.

36:24

I think I'd been avoiding the Mississippi bits and just solid numbers really quick.

36:30

Why cold? parently it's very good for you very good for your immune system. But I'm not sure I'll be trying it anytime soon. You know that to me? It's good. Put me in a warm shower peace. I can just detox in a warm shower cold. Ooh, no, no, thank you. Thank you. So yeah, that's another counting thing. But yeah, I think I prefer the seven in seven hold and seven out.

36:57

What about those days, we get to live more. And that's where I talk about getting to do more of the things that you want to do and less of the stuff that you don't want to do? What What do they look like for you? But is it that I want to do? Yeah, well, is it? Is it? Is it? bc?

37:12

Yeah, good point, BC, or BC would be the BC would be very different than Yeah, I mean, before, before covid.

37:22

I have four grandchildren who I absolutely adore. And when I would permit, you know, two of them are up in Portland, Oregon, you know, my idea of glory is, is getting on a plane and flying up to Portland and having a long, long weekend with them for days, you know,

#190 Eileen McDargh Interview

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai whatever, that's just glorious running with my daughter up there on the they live out in the country. That's just absolutely glorious. Now. So being being able to do that,

37:54

I go and visit a friend who's in an assisted living center gives me great joy to be able to do that.

38:01

In the COVID world, which who knows what it's going to look like in 2021.

38:09

When I get away from the what we think of as the work that I enjoy,

38:15

it's to to,

38:18

it's to walk around my neighborhood to say hello to people, even though you might be physically distance. It's to, it's to do this, this was helpful to me that when we get we get so that we're concentrating on ourselves, what helps get me out of myself, is to be present for other people and to do unexpected. It's kind of like a random act of kindness, unexpected things. So we've had a lot of challenges here with our postal system. And the poor folks at the post office. They're just taking so much heat. And there's not much they can do to control what is coming from, from this

39:02

Postmaster General. So I can say thank you to my to the man that delivers my mail, the woman who delivers my mail, I brought them out cookies are stuff. So the other day when I spent my time with was I make an amazing lemon cake. And so I baked two lemon cakes. And I went down to the post office and I stood in line. And when it was my turn at the counter, I said I really don't need any stamps. I just wanted you all to have this. And I

#190 Eileen McDargh Interview

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai want to say thank you because I know these are challenging times for you.

39:38

Joe, the woman behind the counter started crying.

39:43

Oh, and I say this, this isn't about me. It's about what we can do in acknowledging the people who serve us

39:57

because we call them by name when I'm in the

40:00

grocery store they have on their name tags. I can't see their face with the mask. But I can say thank you, Linda. It's so great to see you here today. And I see their eyes smile.

40:12

Yeah, though. So when you say what do you do when you're not working I that's part of it. I also then can find time to to read to feed my Western bluebirds to plant in my garden. One of the benefits of being in Southern California is there are year round plantings that I can do.

40:31

This will sound very crazy but to but to clean my house to iron. What that sounds like work well, yes and no, I get great joy when I have things that are organized and they're clean. And there's something about ironing when you feel that your life is out of control besides your physical body iron. You had total control. And it looks a heck of a lot better when you put it in the closet. So we with you apart from she doesn't I am at all or if you didn't have to what she does is Hoover, but for the same reason, I think ah, yep. Yeah. I think I've just bought one of those robot Hoover's to try out so

#190 Eileen McDargh Interview

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai 41:12

well, you know, the sweeping isn't a problem. It's because we're not air conditioned. And it gets it can get hot here. So the the windows and the sliding doors are open. It's the dust. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my goodness, the dust. And when you can write your name on the coffee table, you don't think it's time? I think it's time.

41:31

Luckily, it's been really enjoyable interviewing you today. Eileen, can you tell people how they can find out more about you and get in touch? Absolutely. Well, and I am assuming you're going to have my name on the podcast someplace. So first off, just google me. I have a website WWW Eileen Mack dark.com. I am on LinkedIn. You can find me on LinkedIn. I'm on Twitter. My Twitter handle is Mack darling ma si darling. Mack darling, all one word. I do have a Facebook page. And you can find the books not only on my website, but quite a number of them are in Amazon. The newest one is burnout to break through building resilience to refuel, recharge and reclaim what matters. And it's in both trade paper as well as the audit the auditory version, as well as a digital version.

42:28

Lovely. Thanks, Eileen. Great speech today.

42:31

Thank you. It's my pleasure, Joe.



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