Dr Nima Rahmany on Show #189 : Recapturing Health and Becoming Powerfully Aligned 

Dr. Nima Rahmany, DC, CCWP, is a chiropractor, educator, and coach with a passion for helping people discover the root cause of their pain.

By assisting people in overcoming their emotional challenges, he helps his clients transform their lives, both in their corporate and personal lives.

After a successful career as a chiropractor, Dr. Nima sold his practice and took a new path in coaching people in his healing system and methodology to recapture their health, heal trauma and become their most powerful and intimately-aligned self.

In today’s episode, Dr. Nima joins me to discuss how the patient’s progress in his chiropractic practice made him realise the emotional connection to the physical body.

He shares his journey from a successful chiropractor to a coach and creator of the Overview Experience and Becoming Trigger-Proof Workshop.

We explore the connections between our emotional wellbeing and physical health and how social media spotlights the importance of mental wellbeing.

Dr. Nima shares the lessons he is learning as a new father and how it helps his work with clients. He also shares how the pandemic and our reactions affect us and our families and what you can do to deal with tough days and create more fulfilling life experiences.

“Give yourself full permission to feel like a failure because your unwillingness to feel like a failure is stopping you from living more. It’s stopping you from reaching and going out there and choosing your own adventure.”

Dr. Nima Rahmany

This week on The Power to Live More Podcast:

  • How Dr. Nima discovered the connection between emotional wounds and the physical body
  • What made Dr. Nima move away from his practice as a chiropractor to create his Overview Experience methodology and Becoming Trigger-Proof Workshop
  • How he recognised his own personal wounds from physical symptoms
  • Common misconceptions about where physical symptoms come from
  • How social media is helping people realise the connection between emotional wellbeing and physical health
  • The first steps Dr. Nima took to help patients explore the root cause of their physical pain
  • How the Overview Experience method programme evolved over time
  • How becoming a father has added a deeper purpose to the work that Dr. Nima does with his clients
  • Why the pandemic has brought mental health more into the picture and how it can still go further
  • How our actions and reactions to the current crisis affect our children and family dynamic
  • The inspiration behind the Trigger-Proof Workshop
  • Why being able to handle your triggers will help you in every aspect of your life
  • The first steps you can take to help you control your reactions to triggers
  • How Dr. Nima deals with days when everything goes wrong 
  • How you can create days where you live more
  • The “horizon effect” and how you can avoid it

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Dr. Nima Rahmany:

Join the POWER to Live More CALM Membership

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It’s time to stop the isolation and start getting more organised, productive, and focused on the tasks that will move the needle forward.

It’s time to join the POWER to Live More CALM membership!

If you’re ready to:

  • Stop recreating the wheel and focus on the things that truly matter in your life and business
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Then you need to join the POWER to Live More CALM membership programme!

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Show notes provided (brilliantly, my words not theirs!) by Lidwell Writing Services, LLC



Read Full Transcript

Today I'm interviewing Dr. Nima Rahmany of overview consulting. Welcome Dr. Lena, thanks for joining me. It's good to have it's it's good to be here. Actually, Joe, I really look forward to this conversation. Yeah, me too. So start by telling us a bit about who you are, what you do, and crucially, where you do it.

00:19

Well, I have been a chiropractor. I've been a chiropractor for the last 20 years, and in Vancouver, just outside of Vancouver, Canada, and I've been kind of feeling frustrated as to getting to the root cause of why people are coming in to see me in the first place, I would notice that some patients do really great, and they heal, and they're able to, we're able to really help them and still others, no matter what you do, you can dance around like a monkey stand on my head, nothing that I would do, would really help them. And so it was a discovery that I made that pretty much mirrors anybody who does any sort of bodywork for more than 10 years is that our emotional wounds translate to our physical ones. So any unresolved emotional wounding from our past gets stored as trauma in the body, and doesn't

01:20

allow us to fully heal when we keep it at a surface level. And so when I made that discovery, I created a possibility that I would be able to leave the confines of my office and then start to teach the principles of why we get sick in the first place. And what what we can do to actually heal. And what I discovered was that if you when you actually

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai address the in the relationship ruptures

01:54

that cause our emotional distress, starting from our you know, childhood, primary caregivers and and beyond, you then

02:03

are able to give the patient the client power and where they were where they had lost it before. It's like they've reconnected to their source, their agency. Because the ruptures the emotional wounds from the ruptures the ruptured relationships in our lives. They they stay with us, and they will over time, break down our physiology and unresolved emotional trauma that's been very doc well documented. That is the underlying root cause behind most chronic illness. So we've been looking in the surface I discovered I'd made this discovery is that in the world of health and healing, and we've been looking to, to surfacey, at the surface at the symptoms, and I just gave myself permission to go deeper. And five years ago, I sold my practice, I moved kind of on to teaching live workshops and slowly kind of move things online where I teach a global I lead a global community of self healers, that learn to regulate their nervous system, their heal their past.

03:13

Learn how to heal their attachment traumas, their attachment wounds, and then go from there relationship challenges, conflicts, relationship, Limbo, divorce, should I stay should I go?

03:27

They then go to feeling more connected more clear, and then having an ability to choose their own adventure rather than having it chosen for them by unconscious complexes. Hmm. So how did that come about as in the sort of your sort of enlightenment, clearly,

03:47

you had experience experiences, which will have prompted it and you know, not all chiropractors or any of the other types of Yeah, the body workers

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are saying, um, you know, would necessarily end up where you've ended up. So how did that come about for you? A great deal of pain, Joe, an immense amount of pain and suffering. It started, everything was going great in my life.

married at 31 and it was it hadn't really dealt with much adversity. It was pretty much you know, amazing. I had a million dollar practice a trophy wife, a penthouse apartment, BMW, I had the Persian dream, I call it it's like, everything's going great. And then I dealt with that first adversity, which was divorce. And that really rocked me if you if any, any one who's listening has gone through that really understands. And, and I was lucky because we didn't have kids, but it still was a huge setback for me. And that led me into a path where I was then getting into relationships one after another, and it would blow my mind because I thought it was the

04:15

05:00

them, you know, is like, well, this clearly wasn't the right fit, I'm gonna go find, you know, a better fit. And I would just find the exact same patterns in every single relationship. And then finally, it was wasn't until, you know, I, one string of failed relationships were all of a sudden, I woke up one day, you know, in a toxic relationship, they just kept getting worse and more severe. And I woke up one day and I realized shit, well, maybe I'm the common denominator here, I got to work on and seeing why I keep repeating these exact same patterns. Why do I keep getting into these codependent cycles in my relationships where I attract the same type of person, I show up as the exact same type of way. And I discovered it was all unresolved, unhealed attachment wounds, I thought I had done the work because I'd done coaching personal development. And I discovered that I was doing what's called cognitive bypassing, which is trying to think, think your way out of, you know, attachment issues and attachment wounds that are very much in the body. So two years ago, I then stopped working, and I moved back in with my parents. And I decided to actually not because you know, I didn't have a place I put my place up on Airbnb, started renting it out. And I said, You know what, I got to learn exactly what I need to do to take full responsibility rather than play victim to, you know, the wounds that I had in my childhood. So I moved back in with my parent, my parents, and I worked on resolving it, and I became, and that was the birth of the concept called becoming trigger proof. Trigger proof basically means taking full responsibility for the emotions that come up in your body. And instead of becoming reactive by, you know, act lashing out or withdrawing

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai and stonewalling, to sit in it and to, to enquire, and to heal. The younger parts and rescue the younger parts of me that these triggers are coming up, trigger proof doesn't mean trigger less, it means taking responsibility. And being able to respond rather than react. And over a period of a couple of years, I told myself, I said, I become very successful in work, work is not a promise, just all bets are off in in my personal life. So I decided that I was going to do whatever it took whatever distance I had to travel, whatever price I had to pay to learn how to actually have a healthy relationship. And here I am. Now we got married this year, and we have a little baby. So.

07:54

So yeah, so not only I tell people, not only it's like the Hair Club for men, not only am I the president, I'm also a client. Yes. And so that that manifested in physical illness for you, not for me, not for me, I was very lucky. I'm a chiropractor. So I, you know, I take care of my body exercise.

08:16

Health was never an issue for me.

08:20

Health was never an issue. The only way that that would show up for me is paralyzing anxiety. So this was, it wasn't a physiological manifestation of like an illness like a thyroid problem, or a stomach issue or anything. But for me, it would show up as anxiety, which I now see as a kind of a childhood wounding and a lack of safety in the body and a dysregulated nervous system. So all of my teaching is all about first, creating that sense of safety within the body. And then everything else the anxiety takes care of itself, your health issues, take care of your digestive problems. So it all starts with regulating the nervous system. Why do you think people don't see that connection? I mean, it's something that I've known for quite a while I developed an underactive thyroid about 20 years ago, and I did lots of research and I, I can almost certainly say where it came from, in terms of my emotional, where that led up to it, but I also am very aware of, I know, waking up with sort of aches and pains, which I don't have every day, but some days I do and I know I can normally link that back to worrying about something or something having gone on sort of thing. But I think that's because I've done lots of research about it and read lots about it and all that sort of stuff. And I'm quite open minded, I guess and I've done some stuff that's taken it away. So I sort of know when I'm obviously nowhere near the sort of thing that you do, but many people don't even think that there's a connection.

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Yeah, we're also fed a bunch of lies within the medical system which is very pharmaceutical based, which is

09:55

you know, there's a pill for every ill these Do you have the symptoms, it means that

10:00

So you have this disorder. And if you have this disorder, then it takes this drug. So you, you don't really question your lifestyle choices, you don't question, any type of conflict. You know, the, you know, you don't ask the question, hmm, the symptoms that came up, like I guarantee you, Joe, that when your thyroid symptoms came up, if you trace back six months to a year prior to that, there was a conflict that you had endured, that was stored in your body that wasn't expressed and thyroid is is, you know, in the throat chakra, which is, you know, you're suppressing your voice you weren't speaking up, which probably explains why you have a podcast now.

10:43

It's a perfect, it totally makes sense to me. But a suppressed voice, a sip, like one of my clients, you know, was going through some major conflict at home, and she has extreme amount of rage, but she's been hiding it from her children. Because her she doesn't want to rock the boat and have the children not, you know, really absolutely love their father. So she suppressing and hiding that rage. And guess what? Well, that energy, the emotional energy, that psychic energy doesn't just go away, it's not something we can avoid. You either face it, feel it and express it.

11:25

Or it will show up as illness in your body. And the reason why we don't make the connection is because first of all, there's a couple reasons. First of all, it's a big leap for a lot of people because we think, oh, thyroid problem, what did the blood test say? Okay, well, what does the doctor say doctors are just kind of like, you know, it's just symptom and pill. And there's no real connection between the mind and the body. With with doctors, really, they talk about stress, they go, Oh, it's just stress, they pay it lip service. They know, we know that there's a stress there. But there's a huge gap between what the doctors learn about how to deal with that trauma. And what the literature says that all of

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these illnesses are caused by unresolved emotional trauma and unresolved emotions that are trapped in the body, and so many people. Another reason why is that people don't know what to do about it. I mean, do you go to a psychologist and I don't think going to talk talk therapy is actually going to be helpful. I mean, it's helpful to talk to somebody, of course, but there's no tools, there's no accountability,

12:42

it becomes really challenging.

12:46

So the problem is, the reason why it's it's not understood is because, well, it's it's changing. First of all, people are now starting to get information with social media and following accounts on Instagram and YouTube channels, like my mind, people are now going Holy cow, I never realized that there was a link, I didn't realize that my digestive issues, which started when I was eight years old, had anything to do had anything to do with with it, but Come to think of it. My parents divorced when I was seven, and then I started getting these digestive issues. You know, it's like, Ah, you think it's got something to do, then the next question is, well, what do I do about it? Do I just go talk to someone about it? And the answer is no, you don't just talk to somebody, you actually learn how to go in and feel the emotions that you haven't learned how to properly address. So the second reason why this is so poorly understood is that growing up, you were raised, in all likelihood, you are raised in an environment of children or to be seen not heard, huh? spare the rod, spoil the child. So when you've had big emotions come up, you were told Don't cry.

14:06

It's okay, don't cry, or you hadn't had your reality validated you your feelings and emotions were invalidated. Or they were shamed. So you were taught to actually suppress them? Yeah, so that's really tough. That's really tough. So people don't have the training. And we're all trying to we're all

14:31

excuse me, we're all going around in circles trying to feel better, but the real answer is to get better at feeling. Mm hmm. And you mentioned that you'd social practice, did you go through a period of time where your patients didn't know what you were doing? Because

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai you were asking them questions that that one about the aches and pains. Okay, it's actually really funny. Funny story. I had a patient coming in extreme amount of neck pain, and I could see from her body language

15:00

She was tense and angry, and I'm adjusting her second visit she comes in, it's no better. By the third visit, I told her I said, Listen,

15:09

there, I believe there's something deeper here.

15:12

I have a workshop coming up on Saturday, I really want you to come in and let's address the issue. And I never saw her again, I started creating these workshops, when I noticed this, I started creating these workshops in my office. And I would invite my patients, some would some wouldn't the ones that would had amazing results, she just happened to go screw this, get out of my head, just fix my neck. I don't want to have anything to do with you. So she left and I never saw her again. Well, as it turns out, eight years later, I sell my practice, because I was tired of these conversations. I didn't want to work with people who didn't really want to get to the root cause I just wanted to go deeper with people. That's just my evolution.

15:50

And so here I am in in Canadian Broadcasting Corporation headquarters in downtown Vancouver doing a talk to a group of entrepreneurs, about Nervous System regulation. And the organizer invited his family. And so they're sitting there and, and this woman came was present at the at the at the talk after I'm done. She walks right up after I was finished my presentation. She walks up to me, she goes Do you remember me? And this was eight years prior, by the way? And I'm like, No, actually, it doesn't ring a bell. She goes well, I came to see you eight years ago at your chiropractic clinic. And I said, Oh, she goes and I said, who I don't remember. She goes I know I only came to see you three times. And in my mind, I was like shit, what did I do?

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16:38

Did I hurt you? Did I adjust you and cause you pain? And you hated me and never came back? She said, No, actually.

16:46

I felt like you were trying to get in my head. Yeah. And I had, I just had a neck issue going on. And I and I felt like you were trying to get in my head. And I wanted no part of it. But now after listening to your presentation, I now realize you know, I was going through a divorce and I was in a really bad place. And the last thing I wanted to do was to face my shit. And she looked at me and she was like, I'm ready now. So she then jumped in and we started working together and healed her digestive issue, her anxiety, she went off of her anxiety medication that she was in for 25 years because we went back and healed her childhood wounding, which was a guilt and shame about her behavior and her addictions as a teenager, and resentment towards her mother. And so we cleared all of those emotions, the shame, the guilt, the resentment, and all of a sudden her body just was better. And that was probably the greatest validation that I can recall. It was like so huge to experience as a practitioner. Yeah. So talk us through how you transition then from from sort of delivering a service, if you like to what you do now. And obviously, in the meantime, you sold the practice, but it's quite a transition even more. Yeah, even with evolution isn't that midlife crisis, it was age 40 I'm having a midlife crisis, just gone through a divorce. And I'm like, geez, I don't really want to be dealing with surface bullshit, I want to get to the root cause. I mean, it's not surface bullshit is very real. It's amazing. Getting a chiropractic adjustment, adjusting people being able to change lives, I just wanted to go deeper. So what would happen is my

18:32

I started with these little workshops in my office called life skills for a stressful world. So these were like Saturday morning workshops that I would invite all my patients to meet a lot of them really

18:45

were so grateful for the education, I love teaching, I discovered I just love teaching, and some just wouldn't show up and the ones that wouldn't show up, didn't get better, faster, the ones that would just had, they just took responsibility. They had awareness and they got better. So I discovered I really liked teaching a lot more than coming in on Monday

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morning and just dealing with bad backs. And so slowly that three hour Saturday morning workshop, I just as I kept developing, it turned into a one day event, which then turned into a two day event. And once it became this two day event and I created a methodology, a simple to follow methodology, which helps you heal the emotional attachment wounds, you know, taking the trigger, which basically it's a self inquiry tool, that that is both cognitive and somatic in the body that allows you to, to to access the trigger and go back to its origin when you were younger, and then do a series of cognitive and somatic based and inner child type of based

20:00

tools that help you resource, that younger part of you and integrate it back into you when it was fragmented because of trauma. And once you've re integrated that part of you of it, acknowledge that part of you, that abandoned part of you, all of a sudden, your trigger in the present moment, your challenge, your lack of clarity opens up and all of a sudden, you get a window to your next move. It's very powerful. And I just discovered the amazing transformation ability of that. And so I started just traveling around the world and doing these workshops, based on my contacts that I had chiropractic, you know, colleagues, they would just invite me to their offices, and I would teach it to their patients. Yeah, I just modeled it, I went to Atlanta, I went to the UK, I went to Detroit, I went to Australia. And the crazy part was everywhere, I would go, people would like be like, Oh, my God, I want more. So slowly, I transitioned that kind of two day event, into an online 90 day program.

21:07

And now I have online events and programs. And so it's both well before COVID hit, I had a 90 day kind of like program that also included a weekend. So I have these weekend workshops that I love doing because it's like bringing people together and getting immersed and kind of like a revival, getting into your in reconnected with the community. But then it's it's also carried the training and the accountability. And the support also continues online with zoom. And then when COVID hit, I had to cancel all of my live events and moved everything online. And so I have fortunately you'd already started. And oh my gosh, it was like the greatest thing my colleagues were all suffering, because they couldn't open up their practices. And then I hear I am having the most successful year of my career. So it was such a great move.

22:08

I didn't feel that way. At first Joe, I was terrified, making that leap. But as you know, this

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happens, but I never look back now. Now. And I guess this year was probably a time for a bit of sort of CPD for most people who weren't able to get out to their, their consulting rooms and see their people it properly. You know, not only were you online already, you gave people an opportunity to, to learn some stuff, whilst they were, you know, in limbo themselves, I guess so hundred percent Exactly. It's like, Look, now is the time, this was my position, I basically said, Look, we don't know what the future holds, we're unlocked down. This is back in February, March, I started a new Facebook group called trigger proof. And I just said, Look, I'm just going to come in here every day, and I'm going to give trainings that are going to help you get back into your body, get back into your heart, to regulate your nervous system, because that's what's going to determine if you win on the other side of this pandemic. And so all of a sudden, that just grew to over 2200 kind of people in the group and my online events are, you know, rocking it, and people are transforming and people are actually who participate are coming through the pandemic better off than they did going in. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, you know, thank God. I mean, there's so much opportunity for it to go the opposite way. I mean, even since we talked to the beginning about things like, you know, the whole working from home thing, it wasn't working from home, it was working from home during a crisis, you know, the rains has been normal, in terms of the backdrop has it so,

23:53

you know, all that support to get people through is so valuable. So, tell us what a day looks like for you. It's probably changed a bit now you've got a newborn baby. Yeah, totally. So basically, it's pretty amazing. I'm so grateful that I can kind of be a dad and you know, I finish for example, once I finish this interview, I'm just going to go snuggle with him. And, you know, take him for a little walk, take him for a walk in the dogs.

24:22

What's it like working and having a baby like it's it's amazing. A lot of times, like, I'll do my group calls or my trainings and my Facebook Lives, and then you can hear him as you've heard probably him crying in the background. Oh, man. Oh, that's my son. And I'm just really looking forward to this journey unfolding. It's been great and I'm

24:46

sleep hasn't been wonderful. But I realized that, I don't know. It's, it's, this is the greatest love I've ever experienced. And

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24:57

it's actually it's made

25:00

My purpose, this is the one thing that I've noticed, if I can be very selfish about this, it's given me such purpose behind what I do now. Because the work that I do now I stand for healed families. What I do with this work of becoming trigger proof actually helps you break the cycle of intergenerational trauma that didn't start with you. And so when I'm teaching, I'm actually teaching so that Dominic my son can benefit. It's like I want him to be. I mean, he's born into this shit show

25:34

of the world. It's like, Hey, dude, sorry, it's sorry that we brought you into this, like, sorry, you know, but I want to give you the tools to be able to be of service to an impending mental health crisis. And so that's really what the focus of my work is, is is to arm people with skills to be able to cope in a world where there is a impending mental health crisis surrounding Yes, yes, yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, it's it's much more talked about now, it's much more in the sort of public domain, the whole concept of mental health, but it's nowhere near sort of fixed or even those who visit and and mental health is really, it's incomplete. We can't talk about mental health. If we keep ignoring the, the state of alarm that comes in the body, because of unresolved childhood wounding, mental health is all about somatic is a somatic experience. We try to do, you know, counselors and therapists and talk our way out of feeling problems. And I want to teach people that you can't think your way out of a feeling problem. You must actually learn how to feel your way out of it, we must show those younger parts, not tell them that they're safe. Essentially, Coronavirus, it wasn't the problem. It's the fact that we already had a feeling of unsafety in our bodies before it hit. That's the real problem. And my focus of my work is addressing that problem. Because when you address that problem, you then are able to take care of the surface issues. Yeah, yeah. It's funny, I just think it was sort of reflecting on, you know, how people think about it. And obviously, there's a whole host of different views on what things are going on. But I guess in some ways, that whole thing about the narrative around children not being as affected by getting ill with it. And, you know, sweeping statement generalization because obviously, that's not true for all of them. But I wonder if that's, in some ways, sort of insulating some of our younger people.

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27:43

Yeah, we're having it. I don't know about in Canada, we're having issues with lots of students, you know, continuing to have parties and break rules and everything else. But I do wonder, actually, if it's fairly positive that they don't understand the Yeah, well, the impact on the kids comes from not so much. I'm not worried so much about like them getting the virus about the virus itself. What's, what's scarier is that children are watching us children are very, they're our greatest bullshit detectors. I mean, you have a 14 year old, right? So the second Joe that you are the slightest bit inauthentic and bullshit, bullshitting her, she'll be able to call you out. She's right. She's like she you can't, you can't pull a fast one on her. She is your greatest bullshit.

28:36

accountability partner. Okay. Right. So this is true of even my one month old. Let me give an example.

28:44

If I'm, if I'm holding him, and I'm scrolling through social media, my lack of presence with him, he can feel it and he starts to cry. Then all of a sudden, I put my phone down and I put my awareness onto him. Immediately, he stops crying. It's almost as though he feels the safety of my awareness and my presence. That was a huge lesson for me. I was like, Oh my gosh, the power of my attention. My, the focus of my attention is incredibly powerful. That's what what I realized, and my child is picking it up. Yeah, also, my child is picking up the level of connection that I have with my wife. So if I have a kind of like a bullshit relationship with my wife, that's really not connected. The attachment is not there. We have ruptures in our relationship. Yeah.

29:42

That will spill over to the child and my child will feel that lack of safety. Mm hmm. But if I'm focusing on making sure that my attachment to myself, my level of well being within myself, my connection with myself, my nervous system is regulated.

30:00

My relationship with my wife is connected,

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30:04

then he then thrives. Right? So in times of pandemic in this coronavirus, our children are looking up at us, and seeing our behavior and watching how we deal with adversity. And their feeling of safety internally is pretty much governed by how we're, like vibrating the energy that's coming off of us. So I don't take that responsibility lightly. And so the foundation of my message is, it's up to you to break the cycle of intergenerational trauma that didn't start with you. Look at how your parents dealt with conflict and adversity, just just observe, how did they check out? Did they freak out? Did they run and hide? Did their did they bury their head in the sand? Did they act out in rage? Okay, great. That's how you modeled

31:02

you know, your relationship with life. And without the proper training in self regulation and co regulation, you're now passing that down to children. And so I just I just want to bring the awareness to to stop the cycle, and take responsibility and to teach the the tools and the training so that people can take full responsibility themselves and become trigger proof. Yes, yeah. And that we've talked about trigger proof.

31:33

Already in the interview, is that your that's your sort of

31:39

main outcome is that Yeah, yeah. You know, I thought about it, I was like, Okay, what do you what do we what, what, what is it that we all want in this world, you know, and I, and I've been, I've been a chiropractor for 20 years. So I listen to people coming in with problems. And now as a coach, people with varying relationship challenges, right? And the way that I operate, I'm always kind of wanting to go upstream to go to the root cause of the root cause of the root cause of the root cause, because I want to know, if I can go upstream and solve that one problem, you know, because, you know,

32:20

it will show up in a myriad of ways, like how well what are the problems? Well, codependency I'm always showing up needy, and I can't be myself in a relationship. So I hide my truth, and I'm pleasing other people. Okay, what else? Well, I constantly attract

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the same type of partner who constantly treats me like shit. And I take it and, um, I don't have the power and the courage to leave. Okay, what else? Well, I'm always avoidant in relationships, whenever, you know, a conflict happens, I want to run and then I don't bounce back, like I can't get over it. Like I hold on to things. I don't know how to let things go. My I'm anxious all the time, my health is starting to decline. I don't feel safe in my body. I don't know what my purpose is. I don't know how to get past this resistance. I'm procrastinating a lot. And I just don't like I know what I want to do. But I'm so terrified of putting myself out there. Because what are people gonna think of me, and then I realized, holy crap, these are not all separate problems. These are all the same problem. And the problem is that I don't have the ability and the confidence to sit in my uncomfortable emotions. I don't have the trust in my ability to produce results. And I don't have the confidence and trust in myself to be able to handle the consequences of my actions, all because I don't know how because. Because my triggers when I get triggered, I lose consciousness. And I'm no, I'm not in control of my life. What's controlling me is now these old unconscious complexes from childhood that I just don't, I don't have the ability to regulate and then boom, in that moment, I am not a functional adult. I am an eight year old child who wants mommy and daddy to come rescue them. And I'm like, Oh, that's the root cause of your health problems, your relationship issues, the feeling of a lack of clarity and purpose. Yeah. And so, instead of trying to heal your anxiety, which you're focusing on the anxiety, there's tons of books on Haleh anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, well, if you just stop focusing on anxiety, and then focus all of your efforts on integrating your triggers, then then the anxiety goes away, instead of trying to treat codependency. If you just work on becoming trigger proof. Then when you get triggered when your abandonment wounds get triggered in a relationship which they're going to come

35:00

No matter who you're with, if you have those wounds, then you're able to regulate yourself rather than needing somebody else to soothe you.

35:09

If you are able to regulate your own emotions when they come up, you don't become an anxious mess constantly in your head, trying to think thoughts to try to make sense of why your body is in a state of alarm and trying to catastrophize to try to create some sense of control, your addictions, all of these things are an unconscious strategy to regulate your emotions, when you haven't yet learned how to become trigger proof becoming trigger proof is the one skill that will transform every area of your life, it transform mind, from your health, to your relationships, your feeling of worthiness, to your sense of, you know,

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entrepreneurship, working through resistance, all of it is an ability to self regulate. And so that has become,

36:00

you know, the topic that people write books about, you know, stillness and people who, you know, Eckhart Tolle a and all of these things, these spiritual teachers, these neuroscience, people trying to get into flow, essentially what we're doing is unconsciously we're seeking to learn how to regulate our emotions, to create fulfilment to create deeper intimacy, and in our lives, it all comes from becoming trigger proof. Mm hmm. Thank you for that. More detailed explanation. Definitely something to

36:36

aspire to, I think And so yeah, people who want to do that, clearly you run programs that help people with that, what's, what's their sort of first step, the first step I have, is really to learn how to change your relationship with your breath, and then connect with the younger parts of us. You know, when we get triggered, we think that we're in control, but we're not it's our child mind. It's our younger selves that are acting out. And so I kind of have this entry level, you know, training to three hour training called breath, work and badass Hurry, I'll give you the link for it. Yeah, I it's kind of something that I breathwork and badassery, it's a, it's a, it's a training and a one hour meditation on breathing where you,

37:25

you learn how to change your relationship and retrain your body in how to breathe properly, because your breath is the link between your conscious and your unconscious mind. Yeah, and so it's like I had to relearn how to breathe. If I just go back and

37:43

connect to my breath, that inhale, exhale, relationship, one to one is my relationship with the universe, inhale is receive exhale is give, if I have a one to one give receive relationship with the universe I have balanced, but I realized that I wasn't even breathing properly. I'm breathing in. But it was like a shallow breath. So that means that I wasn't receiving I was, you know, abundance, prosperity, I was didn't feel worthy of that. So to change that, I can sit there and do talk therapy. Or I can start by

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38:20

giving myself permission to receive abundance through breath. And it's all around me. So that's the first kind of start and the overview experience is the five hour training that I start my clients often, where you learn how to heal those early attachment traumas, we find out where the root cause comes from where that earliest where that earliest belief was instilled on me, where that I didn't matter that I wasn't enough. So we find it and we give you the tools and solving and I'll give you the links below. Oh, lovely. Thank you. So last couple of questions. What about those days where it all goes horribly wrong for you? What How do you deal with those? Well, how I deal with those is

39:07

be is to sit with the emotions and be willing to feel them. The problem isn't the feelings that come up, it's my resistance to those feelings. So it's not about feeling better. It's about getting better at feeling like shit.

39:24

So what I do in those situations is I give myself full permission to feel like shit. And I have, you know, people around me that I trust that I'm like, really, I'm going through a really hard time and it's bringing up a bunch of stuff can I just emotionally dump on you and just express everything that's inside? And you know, I have my team and all of the people that I have the community that I have around me that are willing to listen to that and just hear me without fixing it just have me currently just a few days ago, I called my my, one of the one of my team and I just

40:00

said, Listen, I'm going through a really rough time. And I everything's falling apart. Can I just express and I did. And I just literally just wailed and screamed in the phone. And I had a good cry, and I released it. And I'm like, thank you. And just in the release and listening to the language, I was like, Ah, okay, how will do you feel NEMA, you feel about nine years old there, ah, that brought up a memory. And then after I was able to express it, then I'm able to really take care of that nine year old part of me. So when I have a shit day, I let myself have a shit day. And I give myself full permission and allowance and safety to feel like shit.

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40:42

Which is the opposite of what most kind of personal development is, is like, Oh, we got to numb that we got to sedate that we got to put a pill on that.

40:50

becoming really becoming trigger proof is about really getting good at feeling like shit and allowing those feelings to come up and move through you rather than suppress them or repress them. Because it's, you know, because of social decencies. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's really powerful. Thank you. What about those days where you get to live more. And that's where I say that you get to do more of the things that you want to do and less of the stuff that you don't want to do? What are those days that like for you? Well, that is a conscious, choose your own adventure.

41:21

The first step to that is to I mean, give yourself permission to dream that a lot of people are stuck, because they are like, Oh, I don't know what I want to do. And the truth is you do No, it's just you're telling the story of I don't know what it is that I want, as a way of protecting yourself from feelings of failure. And so the first step is to really get good at feeling like a failure.

41:50

Give yourself full permission to feel like a failure because your unwillingness to feel like a failure is stopping you from living more is stopping you from reaching and and and going out there and choosing your own adventure. And so basically, it comes down to writing out exactly what it is giving yourself full permission, and getting your mind and body engaged in the doing of that without a like, in your feeling in your body. So it starts living more starts with a thought and a feeling. And this morning, before I got on a call with you, I started to envision and feel into because we live in a two bedroom condo, just got married this year. So it's like I've been living the bachelor life. And now it's like, Okay, it's time for a house. Well, guess what, I'm at a house with a with an office with a studio in it, where I can do presentations in my trainings. I'm actually living it in my mind and my body. And I'm giving myself full permission. And what you do is each and every day you acknowledge

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43:03

how your dreams are coming true. You acknowledge evidence, you look for evidence of your vision manifesting. Because if you don't count the small wins and incremental progress, you're always have what's called the horizon effect. You're looking ahead and going, Oh, I'm not there going towards the horizon, at venue never get there. So it's really about pausing and looking. Where am I actually living it now? And the truth is, I am living it now I'm living this in this exact moment. This conversation, if you told me five years ago that I'll be having this conversation in this beautiful apartment with my beautiful family just right here. I would have told you. I'm living the dream. So because of the horizon effect, I'm going to day to day look at my life and go I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet. So it's really important to stop and look back and acknowledge where you are living it daily. That's how it works for me. Yes, yeah. Lovely. Thank you. So tell people how they can find out more and get in touch with you.

44:07

My website is right there. I'll leave you the link. It should be in the show notes. It's Dr. nima.com. And my facebook group. It's called trigger proof group. It's called trigger proof.

44:21

I'll just put it in the in the chat box, therefore you can grab it. And I have a if you you know you reach out to me and let me know on social media Instagram at Dr. Nima.

44:34

If you send me a DM and let me know what was relevant for you. If this was if this was meaningful, send me a DM let me know what what were your biggest takeaways were what landed for you. And then what I'll do is I'll send you a 90 minute training for free with a promo code that teaches you the steps that I take my clients through with case studies

45:00

that take you through learning how to become trigger proof.

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Brilliant. Thank you so much, Dr. Nima. Great to speak to you today. Thank you for having me.

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