In the next in a series of guest blogs, Haifa Aboobacker tells us how to lower your expectations to live a happier life.
All of us have certain expectations in our lives – it can be for what we want out of our relationships or for our careers and who we wish to become.
One of the most important aspects of living a happy life depends upon the management of our expectations with respect to various circumstances and people.
Why Should we Bother Having Low Expectations?
We can never be disappointed if we do not have any expectations. The majority of the time, we assume that we will be treated in the same way that we treat others. However, this is certainly not the case most of the time.
Here’s an interesting study conducted by Tohuku University on the direct effects of ‘Social Expectation’ on the Japanese society.
But at the same time, can we really have absolutely no expectations in everything we do? That’s hard! However, there are ways in which we can manage our expectations so that it doesn’t become overburdening.
You should always make sure to enter into a relationship with an individual who has the same heart as yours. If you do not make sure of this, then at one point in time, you will feel that you are being taken advantage of. You should always find people who recognize and appreciate what you do for them and also exchange such actions.
The renowned marriage counselor and Therapist, Dr. John Gottman talks in detail about how to manage expectations when you’re in a relationship – You can read more about it here.
There are two ways to lead a happy life: Either by lowering your expectations or by improving your reality. You can easily accept the flaws of the other person by having more realistic expectations.
One of the most difficult challenges that we face in our lifetime is to accept people for what they are. You will lead an easier life if you accept that you cannot change some people with your expectations. Moreover, there are chances that further problems will arise when your expectations do not come true.
5 Best Ways to Lower Your Expectations
Here are some ways in which you can lower your expectations to live a happier life:
- You should stop expecting from other people
When you have no expectations from other people, you can never be disappointed. Having Expectations will make you feel miserable. Hence lowering the same will make you much happier. You should stop expecting that people around you will always behave in the way you wish them to behave. You should face both negative and positive comments.
For example, you have to understand that you have absolutely no control over other people’s opinions about things such as politics, love, money, career, etc. It is much better to accept their opinion and the fact that you cannot change it. Avoid stressing yourself out for something that you have no control over.
- You should stop expecting people to like you
You must understand that if even a majority of people around like you, it doesn’t mean the whole world does. Each and every individual has a unique perspective and nature. You must never dislike someone for not agreeing with your thought process.
It is a foolish thought that an individual can try to make other people like them. Therefore, it is better to avoid the battle of trying to be liked by each and every one. As an alternative, try to love yourself more and be kind to other people.
- Try saying Yes to everything
You can surely expect some adventures in your life if you learn to say yes to everything. Always agreeing to take up anything that comes your way will not always result in success. More often than not, it will give you some good laughs.
You should stop expecting to always be in the best possible scenario: let it be the best party or an event. Feel free to enjoy the time with people who care about you. Stop fretting over how things could have turned out. Always remember that your best memories will be those which you probably would not have planned.
- Start accepting without any reservations and start giving without any expectations
When you respect people, it means you are allowing them just to be themselves. No one can change anyone. As a matter of fact, you should even avoid trying out the same. Once you stop expecting from others, you will learn to appreciate them.
Most disappointments arise when you try to change people and do not succeed. You should always allow people to be themselves. Each and every individual is unique. You should understand that you don’t even completely know the other person. Hence, you always understand someone much better when you have spent more time with them.
You will also come across a few people who try to attack you in any possible way, even if you are kind to them. In such situations, you should never lower your self-esteem and just smile. Always remember that you are completely priceless to your loved ones.
- Stop trying to be right all the time
You will always be disappointed if you expect others to do things which you seem are right. We may have a subjective opinion about what is wrong and what is right. But don’t always enforce these opinions on others as it may lead to conflicts. Stop correcting people all the time and telling them what’s right and what’s wrong. It’s up to them to make up their minds.
You will be amazed at how well this one trick works. A majority of your arguments, expectations as well as disappointments will be gone if you avoid the need to be right all the time.
Haifa Aboobacker – Author Bio
Haifa is a growth assistant at AirTract.Com, a social platform in which people ask any questions, get answers, write and read articles, share knowledge and experience.
She is a communication engineering graduate but a digital marketing buff who is fascinated by the best SEO practices and content strategies. She loves to make friends and explore places, and she chooses reading in her time off.
References:
- https://www.learning-mind.com/lowering-your-expectations-happy-life/
- https://www.success.com/how-lowering-your-expectations-makes-you-happier/
- https://www.elitedaily.com/life/motivation/stop-having-expectations
- https://www.nerdycreator.com/blog/no-expectations-no-disappointment/
- https://patch.com/new-york/new-york-city/how-control-your-expectations-find-happiness
- https://www.gottman.com/blog/truth-expectations-relationships/
Featured image by Timur Romanov on Unsplash